Tag Archives: World of Warcraft

If Shakespeare Had Played WoW


Shameless plagiarism here, copied from Ratshag’s blog;

If Shakespeare Had Played WoW

Romeo and Juliet would have been set on a PvP server.

When Lady MacBeth told MacBeth ta screw his courage ta the sticking place, he’d have replied “Yeah, but do the king drop any upgrades for me?”

Instead of “Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more”, King Harry woulda said “Let’s do this!”

Richard III would have been willing to trade his kingdom for a rusted proto-drake and 310 flying.

The Merry Wives of Windsor would be planning to re-roll worgen druids in Cataclysm.

Instead of “Cry ‘Havoc,’ and let slip the dogs of war”, Anthony woulda said “Kill skull first, then X. Sheep moon.”

“Taming the Shrew” would be a 10-point achievement.

Julius Caesar would have avoided assassination by popping his treants, rooting Brutus, running out of the Senate and then shadowmelding.

The Merchant of Venice would offer rare crafting recipes on a twelve-hour timer.

Instead of the Saint Crispin’s Day speech, King Harry woulda given the Leroy Jenkins speech.

Othello and Iago would always be blaming Desdemona  for not holding aggro.

Hamlet sooooo woulda blown up the guild with his drama.

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Trolling World of Warcraft


Since the in-laws dropped in on our family a few weeks ago the painting gear has been tidied away in its little box. This has meant no further models have been painted in my War of the Ring force although the collection has grown by several miniatures since then! I, of course, need to correct this and am thinking my unit of Morgul Knights should be the quickest and easiest to get painted before I try finishing off the Easterlings.

Over the weekend I also gave myself properly to the Truekin, having read the new Dark Eldar Codex from cover to cover and planning out my 1500pts army list. I started off by putting down all the units I’d like to include and to my surprise came in 254pts short after putting those in. I then went to town on expanding some units and increasing the number of others. I even made my first few purchases on Saturday to start things off, looks like my un-retirement is now confirmed. The Orks are still destined for the sale bins though, they’ve been a lot of fun and have done me proud, however, it is time for me to return to my first love.

Speaking of first love, the gaps in my schedule that would usually be used for painting have been taken up with other hobbies. For me that is gaming on my PC. I’ve been pottering around in WoW getting myself ready for the Cataclysm with various alts. In January of this year I went through the drastic act of selling off all my characters gear and deleting them. I then stopped playing for around 6 months and was very happy. I was happy to come back too and got my character restored, however, their gear was of course all gone. I was back playing Alliance with friends so what money I did have was on a level 1 alt, I got my two 80’s restored and shipped my Priest back to the Alliance with a good chunk of moolah. My on-again, off-again nature with WoW has meant that I’ve missed out on a lot of the end game content for this expansion, the same as what happened with Burning Crusade. I was talking with Servitob the other night about perhaps trying to regear one of my 80s. The only gear I had on my Shaman was the T8 chest and gloves, a necklace, two trinkets and a ring, that was it. Therefore I knew there was no-way I’d be allowed to run Heroics, I’d get kicked out of the group for sure. So, I hatched a plot about wearing the Darkspear Warrior disguise from the Echo Isles liberation questline as that would hide all the gear I am missing! It was so devious it might actually work too…

I went to Orgrimmar and sat opposite the Heroic Target Dummy to see what I could do, I dropped my totems and managed just over 1000 dps. I then signed up for some normal 80 dungeons. I ended up running a couple of the Tournament 5 mans which got me some shoulders and a main weapon, I’d pulled a shield from my bank and grabbed a few items from quest rewards in Icecrown and rep items (cloak and belt) to round me out. Yesterday evening, after having spent a few hours in the afternoon running normal dungeons, I decided to chance an Heroic. It popped me into that same Tournament 5 man as I’d been doing on normal earlier. We walked it! Not only that but I was holding my own DPS wise against guys who were obviously way more geared than I was. I also ended up doing Heroic Utgarde Keep, Timed Culling of Strat, TotC, Azjol-Nerub, Forge of Souls and the Oculus. This got me my Northrend Dungeon Master achievement and a hell of a lot more gear! I got a load of Justice Points and grabbed myself a new belt which was a huge upgrade. In fact, the only item I am now missing are boots and most of my gear slots are once again filled with Epics. In around 3 or 4 hours I went from a well undergeared and virtually naked character to having a gearscore of 3600. Sure, that’s not a huge number but when I was hovering around 1k at the start of the day it’s amazing what a few dungeons have done and I’m very glad I did it.

Not only was it a hell of a lot of fun but I feel like I have a viable level character to do things with in the few weeks up till Cataclysm. Getting used to the way an Elemental Shaman plays after 4.0.1 has been interesting and I am liking it a lot. This was my favourite character to play in the past and is just as much fun now. I look forward to getting those boots I’m missing and going through some things I had missed out on when I quit. My Horde characters have next to no money, something I can correct having earnt 400g just from the dungeons I did. The fact that I can hold my own and feel like I am contributing to the group is very fulfilling when I thought I’d be dragging them down and making people work harder. It does almost seem too easy but I am happy to be back at the top-level again, I might not be kitted out in full tier 10 or whatever but I now have more options about things I can do.

Phake the Troll is back setting stuff on fire and then shooting lightning up its ass! Times are good.

Nostalgia – A Dish Best Served With A Side of AOE


I blogged the other day about my guilty pleasure, an occassional foray into gaming’s crackwhore behemoth World of Warcraft. However, since the 4.0.1 patch vastly changed the Class landscape I’ve not been sure about my fresh 80 Death Knight. Hence how I’ve hit 80 and not done a thing with her, spending my time between various alts (this will not surprise anyone I’ve played the game with) and currently enjoying the awesomeness of my Subtlety Rogue. She can stealth up behind things and pretty much one-shot mobs with Ambush, after rifling through the lint in their pockets of course!

After two nights playing (finally fixing a lag issue I’ve had) I’ve spent maybe three or four hours and taken my Rogue from level 26 through to 31 in that time. I use TourGuide to help my levelling, however, now things have been tweaked the XP comes that thick and fast that you can quickly outpace the guide, even with regular questing this is the case let alone adding in running Instances. According to my TourGuide I should be finishing off my quests in Stonetalon Mountains when really I can make a start at Stranglethorn Vale or go for what should be my second foray into Thousand Needles. I am about 5 levels ahead of TourGuide right now so am trying to skip ahead into the right zones for my level but with TourGuide some quests you pick up really far in advance and then hand them in much later so things like that I am skipping on.

Once I hit level 31 last night I decided to take a break from the ass-kicking I was handing out with my Rogue and went for a potter about with the Cataclysm quests on my Death Knight. To cut a long story short I ended up responding to a PST regarding a group that wanted a healer for Karazhan. They had already got one but took along my Death Knight to tank. 5k+ DPS are not going to be tanked by a fresh level 80 Death Knight, however, at level 80 we went in with 5 of us and AOE’d the whole place down in around 40 minutes.

The most fun I ever had with WoW were playing with Servitob, Mrs Servitob and nBreaker when we were in a guild together raiding this place as level 70s. It was challenging, it was fun and we spent far too much time playing WoW once we started raiding. Yet, despite the time sink it became I remember it fondly, going back with a group of strangers and walking through the place brought back a lot of those memories. It was nice to see the place again and watch the familiar bosses even if everyone of them went down in under a minute! I even got some RP loot hehe.

We may not have done the place properly but I still class that raid as the single crowning glory in WoW, certainly was nice to be in there again.

I’m still not sure if I like the gameplay changes to the Death Knight though, but at least I have a new shiny achievement!

Six Of The Greatest Computer and Video Games Ever


Ever since I could hold a dial contoller and make the lines go up and down on a pong machine I’ve been playing computer games. Not that that qualifies me at all to make any kind of judgement upon what makes a good game or not, it simply shows that I’m getting old and still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea.

So anyway spambots, I have been thinking long and deeply about some of what I consider the best of gaming… EVER!!! Obviously as I write this in the middle of October 2010 it may not be valid for very long… Indeed I might well have changed my mind by tomorrow, but here goes:

6) Mass Effect 2 – This game truly is a work of genius. Just about the only adventure game I’ve ever played where I actually gave a stuff about what NPCs had to say. I must have sat through hours of dialogue and not got bored, wore out the continue button, fell asleep or went off in search of food once. Remarkable. In addition, I don’t think I got lost in game either, saving literally tonnes of virtual shoe leather. Good adventures? This is how it’s done!

5) Modern Warfare 2 – The second sequel on our list proves the point that video games are utterly unlike videos. For those of you who are 20 years old or less a video is an archaic device used to store films and movies. They were big plastic bulky things, and if you were posh you could put them in covers that made them look like books from the side. Anyway, most movie sequels are about flogging the dead horse in a vain attempt to cash in. Game sequles are about taking a game and making it better. MW2 happens to be just about the greatest FPS game, technically and especially playability wise. Single player – great, multiplayer – amazing, co-operative – a right laugh. Yes PC owners whinge that it doesn’t have LAN support. It’s best played on a console where the playing fields are level and victory cannot be bought at your local PC component store.

4) Grand Theft Auto 4 – I know a guy from eastern europe who happens to be called Niko. He also looks like the protagonist of this great game. Fortunately he has never tried to carjack me or rob a bank. I did pay him to help paint my house and assemble a bathroom though, and I would say that maybe he’d be wise to keep his options open for a career in crime. Regardless, GTA4 is amazing. The attention to detail is fantastic. Even if breaking the law is not your thing you can spend hours watching the TV, going to shows and surfing the internet in game. It’s seriously hilarious. The game proper though is a great high quality adventure into the seedy underworld of Liberty City, with enough freedom to keep you playing for days. It’s the jewel in the crown of Rockstar Games, but also recommended are the similar Grand Theft Cowboy (Red Dead Redemption) and Grand Theft School (Bully).

3) Gears Of War 2 – Want a game with sex drugs and rock n’ roll? Pfff… that’s for wimps! Get up close and personal with one of the most brutal and excitng games you’ll ever play! Once you’ve hacked, slashed, blasted and sawed your way through an excellent single player or co-op campaign, you then have the further fun of brilliant multiplayer options. Gears of War 2 has a serious ace which will keep you hacking, slashing, blasting and sawing for years to come. What? Two words – Horde Mode.

2) Bayonetta – What the heck is this doing at number two? I’ll tell you what, it’s a veritable feast of awesome. Everything about this game is absolutely stunning and I’d say that even if the main character was a fat bloke called Dave who walks around with his wang out. Visually it’s incredible, aurally it’s amazing and it all glues together with such seamless effortlessness and flow to produce the ultimate beat ’em up. Give typewriters to an infinite number of monkeys and eventually they’ll produce the full works of Shakespeare. Give computers and hallucinogenic drugs to an infinite number of programmers and I don’t think they’d come close to producing something this crazily amazing.

1) World Of Warcraft – The greatest game ever made. Seriously. Hmm, I am beginning to doubt my own sanity. But just look at it, Warcrack is so immersive that it’s very hard to find a regular player who hasn’t had some kind of addiction to the game. It’s phenomenal once you get into it, all you need is a PC with GameBoy type specifications and a smattering of social skills and you are off into this crazy world of adventure which can and literally will suck your life away. The repercussions of Warcrack will become apparent in a few years as a generation comes of age lacking in qualifications and suntans, having squandered the best years of their lives holed away in basements doing the safety dance and grinding their Hodir rep. Good? – definitely. Addictive? – dangerously!

Things Not On This List:

1) Old games – Populous was great. Notice the WAS. Resident Evil was incredible. Again notice the WAS. They’ve all been redone, a million times better on far superior hardware. Only a true masochist or someone living at the bottom of a swamp would think that Elite is still the best space opera game ever. Groundbreaking, yes, the best game ever to grace the BBC Micro, sure. Possibly the best game on the planet by a long way on it’s release. Take off your rose tinted spectacles, play it on an emulator and see how it pales in comparison to games you can even get on your mobile phone.

2) Nintendo – Run by plumbers? Never played any of their games in any serious measure (well not since they refused to add blood to Mortal Kombat on the SNES, a bit like doing a wrestling game without the spandex). I do own a Wii, which is revolutionary in terms of game controllers but its a kind of fun thing for social gatherings. I don’t rush home from work to get in a round of Wii Sports Golf. Oh yeah, Goldeneye 64 was the best game of it’s day, but see ‘1) Old Games’.

3) Any Other MMO – Warcraft is far more popular. Admit it, you invested 3 months in levelling a toon in a game people only play when the WoW servers run maintenance.

4) Sonic The Hedgehog – Haha not a chance you spikey freak!

Name and Shame – WoW Edition


While I cannot condone the use of profanity here the picture adequately relates what I want to do today. I understand that giving some asshats their little fifteen minutes of infamy maybe just what they want, and nobody will probably know or see the person in question but I just wanted to vent a little, so here we go.

I’d like to send out a great big shout out to Leksy, the level 74 Night Elf Warrior that was in Dragonblight last night, on the EU Argent Dawn server. Hi! I am that Human Death Knight you came across.

So, what is the cause of this public naming? Well, there is a quest in Dragonblight from the NPCs at Star’s Rest, they are concerned about all the fluffy little BEARS!!!! being infected, so, you are tasked with killing them off and burning their corpses, similar to the way UK government dealt with Foot and Mouth a few years back.

Being the vastly overpowered PvE machine that a Death Knight is, I rounded up an area worth of my targets and AOE’d them down. No-one else is around when I start and I certainly haven’t robbed anyone of their mobs. I set fire to the first of my corpses, then, our friend Leksy here proceeds to target and set fire to everything else (bar one Elk) that I had just killed, robbing the majority of them for his quest (I’d loot and then my corpse would be on fire before I could do anything else). I tried to whisper this character but, surprise surprise, I was ignored. I finished off my quest easily from other spawns but seriously, camping someone elses kills to finish your own quest when you see that person (who put the effort in to actually kill the mobs) doing what you are doing it just not on. I know this particular special snowflake probably doesn’t care about any of this, but the icing on the cake was after our little Night Elf had ninja’d three fifths of my quest mobs they gave me a /thank…

This is the kind of person who should be publicly flogged. It is a small misdemeanour in the grand scheme of things but an asshat is an asshat, so, if you come across Leksy on EU Argent Dawn, you now know what kind of person they are. Luckily for this person they are a prot specced warrior so we should never meet in an instance (me being a tanking DK) because if we were, well, I don’t want to group with someone who shows such a disregard for other players.

/rantoff

/quit


New year is a time for new resolutions, as tradition has it. So what did I resolve? To give up World Of Warcraft.

Lets get some things straight here. I’ve been playing it on and off since it was released, so hopefully I am qualified to make these judgements:

1) It is one of the best computer games ever. Why? Because it thoroughly engages you like no other computer game. The gameplay is so vast, and options so immense that there’s always something new to do or try. Throw into this mix the ability to interact and cooperate with other completely unpredictable human players gives the game an interesting and exciting element. Once you get into the game you are guaranteed hours of fun and entertainment unlike any other form of recreation. It is truly hard to describe the experience without going through it.

2) It is horrendously addictive. I pull no punches here. It really is. The world dishes out small rewards as you play, new skills, new equipment, new rewards which progress you character further and deeper into the game. This gives the player a sense of achievement and further desire to play as achievements open up further options to gain more rewards. It is a viscious circle, the more you play, the more you want to play. Before you know it, you’ve spent an entire weekend playing. Not necessarily a bad thing, but once you get into the game you will enjoy it to the detriment of everything else. A point of fact I realised lately is that WoW is the only game I know of that people play ‘just to see what is going on’, in that people will log in for a few hours with no real goals in mind, and will log off much later not really having done anything productive.

I do worry for some younger players who have become so entrenched in this game that they have thrown away some of the most exciting and critical years of their lives. I do wonder if I would be where I am now in life if I had discovered this game in my formative years, or would I now be living like a neckbeard in a basement! Seriously, if you want to read some sad stories on the effects of Warcrack, just do an internet search.

So why am I giving it up? A few reasons. Firstly, I rarely get to play it with real life friends any more. Playing with real friends in Warcraft is truly awesome. Secondly, I think I have better things to do. The problem with Warcraft is that yes, it is entertaining but it has no real narrative. For example, watching a movie or playing a game such as ‘Dragon Age’ may be percieved as an equal waste of time, but it’s not. At the end of the movie you have progressed. You have followed a story, learned things and reached an end point. Warcraft doesn’t have that. There is no real story, it’s just fight monsters, gain loot, repeat ad infinitum. I’m still going to game… Probably as much as before, just with different games. I’ll probably spend more time watching documentaries and painting models. And at the end of it all, when Blizzard finally shut off the last Warcraft servers, I will have some random facts to impress my wife with, and some stuff to sell on ebay.

Great Things in 2009


It’s nearly the end of the year, so here are some of my gaming highlights of 2009:

The Uncharted Seas

Spartan Games’ seafaring fantasy game is excellent. I don’t know when it first came out, but I came across it in 2009. It’s quick, simple and fun. It is on a parallel with one of my favourites, Silent Death (click here for info), for quick and enjoyable games. Unfortunately however, I feel a tempest is brewing for this game, and it will probably sink without trace within the near future. The game was inevitably released with a few flaws and balance issues. Sadly Spartan Games have been about as fast as an asthmatic sloth in releasing corrections and updates.

Space Hulk

Hooray for retro gaming! Space Hulk made a return in 2009, just as we had all forgotten how great it was. The main difference is that this version looks awesome. The boards and models are fantastic, adding much to an already atmospheric game. A big power fisted thumbs up!

We're Back, Baby!

World Of Warcraft Random Dungeon Tool

Well I cringe to include this one but it really has almost overnight revolutionised this grandaddy of MMORPGs. No longer do we wait for ages to get a group. No longer do we have to trek miles to a summoning stone. Just when you think WoW is getting stale, Blizzard go and pull this kind of stunt. I’ll happily wait a bit longer for Diablo 3 now!

ZombiePirateXXX is Going To Paint An Army!

OK so it’s not actually happened yet, but all you readers were witness to ZombiePirateXXX’s solemn promise to never play Warhammer Fantasy until he had a painted army. Man, the day he flops it will be a glorious day indeed, for his painting skills are legendary. I have visions of bright lights and hosts of angels singing ‘Hallelujah!’, followed by Gribblin giving him a good trouncing.

OK that’s it for now folks, feel free to add more!