Tag Archives: EVE Online

EVE Online: Retirement


quafeEVE Online is very boring but pretty interactive screensaver from Iceland. Wait, no, let me quantify that. 90% of EVE Online is a very boring but pretty interactive screensaver from Iceland.

Unfortunately the vast majority of people never see past this 90% mark and simply get stuck in some of the most woefully awful and repetitive PvE ever encountered in an MMO. Some of the lucky or possibly unlucky people in this group at least get to join a terrible player run hisec corporation and get to sample the paint drying levels of excitement of shooting red crosses and rocks as part of a team. Add in an extremely steep learning curve and a noob experience that basically chucks you in at the deep end and it is easy to see why subscriptions to this game have never been stellar.

The other 10% of EVE Online is some of the greatest and superlative experiences in current sandbox MMOs. The Real EVE that most people never find is a wild west of diplomacy, shifting allegiances, teamwork and meta-gaming unlike anything else. Throw in some epic, and I mean epic, spaceship wars with palpable universal effects and it is also easy to see why subscription levels have remained consistent despite the game being well into it’s eleventh year.

It is this 10% that I have found myself in for the last two years. In a motley crew of wormhole mercenaries, flying and making a living in the most hostile regions of space the game has to offer. The fights were brutal and you were always in danger, but the rewards were huge. Personally I made enough in game currency not only to assemble a veritable armada of battleships and combat vessels, and buy a dreadnought, but I did all this whilst funding two accounts with in game currency. Fight hard, risk it all, play for free.

All good things come to an end, and after participating in some very punishing grudge wars I decided to leave the wormhole life behind me and retire. Retire in a way that only seasoned billionaire capsuleer should, and join the entity known as Red Versus Blue.

Red Versus Blue is one of the biggest organisations in game. Essentially it is two groups, Red Federation and Blue Republic at constant war with one another over some piece of fluff in the alliance info I have never bothered to read. You get in your ship, you fly out of the station and get straight into a fight. You eventually explode only to repeat the cycle all over again until you decide to go watch TV. Except when fleet status is condition purple*, no-one in their right mind would watch TV then!

If you are a capsuleer of means then this can be a good, non-committal way to play the game. I think every capsuleer should do a stint in this organisation just to learn that bigger spaceships aren’t always better and actually the ten seconds before your spaceship explodes provides some of the best fun the game has to offer. No matter what you do in EVE Online, eventually some git (normally in a Tornado) is going to blow you up and the earlier you get used to this fact and start dealing with it the quicker you will abandon the dull drudgery of PvE and actually go out there to start making things explode for yourself.

* think of what colors make purple if you aren’t nerdy enough to get the reference, you may need to ask a friend if you are unfortunate enough to be colorblind.

Servitob Goes to EVE Fanfest 2013


29-04-13 047Reykjavik – home to 200,000 people wishing they were someplace warmer and the online spacecrime and grief experience that is EVE Online.

So what’s the news? CCP (the makers of internet spreadsheet spaceship simulator) seem to be getting quite heavily in DUST 514. This is a free to play FPS for Playstation 3 set in the EVE universe. Currently they are attempting to integrate the two games. Planetary invasions and battles with alt-tabbing for spaceship orbital strikes are likely to make the initial release; with heavy hints that in future boarding actions may well be part of the experience. Good idea? I’m not a fan of FPS games and I know players can be a fickle bunch which may limit it’s longevity.

Top idea for the week has to go to CCP Soundwave, who in a seminar suggested that you should be able to place bounties from the EVE forums. Hopefully this would lead to bad posters getting big bounties on their heads and the associated infinite grief when they login to play the game!

The big reveal though was the suggestion that CCP are going to build a statue in Reykjavik 5.14m tall to celebrate 10 years of EVE Online with every player’s name engraved upon it. Apparently Iceland has no planning laws!

The big big reveal was the notion that CCP are going to make a TV series a-la Battlestar Galactica, Game of Thrones etc based upon the shenanigans that go on in the game. A few months back a site was put up collecting stories that they will use as inspiration for the storylines. You can find the site here.

Space Crime Spreadsheet Simulation Catches Fire


This is an old picture but it always makes me laugh. I have secretly been playing the space crime spreadsheet simulator EVE Online on and off (with more emphasis on the off) since about 2008 and it still confuses the monkey nuts out of me.

Tomorrow sees the release of the latest update, Inferno. I doubt I’ll notice it though as I am still learning to fly the damn spaceship, although I might explode in new graphical pazazz!