Epic Fail – When Good Dice Go Bad


In general we love our wargaming. Not only is it a creative outlet for our more artistic drives, but it stretches the cerebellum and provide the exercise for our grey matter that might be lacking in other activities (like watching sports).

We pore over army lists, trying to devise cunning ways to improve our armies, looking for synergies of troops and vehicles or monsters with which to make a fun game and hopefully bring us victory and allow us to triumph over our foes. I could probably do with some kind of alliterative example here but you’re not going to get one!

So it was that for the May Day bank holiday that gripped the lands below the mighty floating citadel that is the 6 Inch Move palatial residence, a few of the more dedicated gamers gathered together to duke it out using little plastic soldiers. The way real men settle their differences fo’shizzle. (We did have two drop-outs, one with some kind of mild headache claimed to be a migraine and the other with excuses of some kind of outdoor, fire-pit based social event, but we all now geeks don’t have friends, or do outdoors so come to your own conclusions).

This auspicious day saw nBreaker start a winning streak we are hoping to cut short. My Arcanists Show Girls crew were slaughtered mercilessly at the hands of the Dreamer and Lord Chompy Bits, followed not long after by Gribblin’s Eldar taking a beating from nBreaker’s Orks. However, all of this is a 250+ word pre-amble to the main event, a kin strife war between that same Eldar army and my own burgeoning Dark Eldar.

Gribblin and I have done the “Elf on Elf” thing before, but in the fantasy setting, it was brutal, bloody and there wasn’t a whole lot left at the end of the game. Therefore we imagined that this was probably going to pan out in the same vein. I took my double Succubi list I posted a while back but took one squad as Bloodbrides, kitted both Wych units with Haywire grenades and dropped the Mandrakes.

Now, while battle reports are generally pretty cool to read the amount of fail in this one leaves us far too embarrassed to do it. It seemed that no matter what either of us could do it just wasn’t the day for the dice to co-operate. We ended up with an Annihilation mission with opposite corners for deployment. I deployed first but then Gribblin stole the initiative, this should have been a warning of things to come. His Rangers shot my Kabalite Warriors and (of course) I failed the pinning test, everything else was pretty much out of sight and survived. The Kabalites would not shoot for the first two turns of the game despite having Ld8, I rolled above 10 both times. My Ravager went up against the Falcon and in an impressive bout of fail only managed to Shake it for the whole game. My Bloodbrides failed to kill 10 Dire Avengers despite two Agonisers and the +1 attack combat drug, they did soundly beat them but then failed to catch them after rolling a 1 for their sweeping advance. Of course they got shot up without the benefit of the Pain Token they should have collected.

Once again the Reavers proved their worth by immobilising the Falcon and then shooting up the Rangers, on Gribblins part he failed more 3+ cover saves than anyone had right to. I sent my normal Wyches into the War Walkers who proceeded to take 4 turns to only take down 2 of them (OK, I’ll admit that this was the wrong target on my part). My Bloodbrides epically failed their move through cover check to assault the Rangers before my Reavers finally saw them off.

We ended up calling the game a draw, Gribblin did have one more kill point than me when we totted up the final tally for giggles at the end but both of use had hardly anything of the 1000pts we took left. I have never ever seen such awful dice, both of us suffered from rolling low when we needed to roll high and vice-versa. In general it seems that at times the dice gods do abandon one player at times and no matter what you do you get pounded, however, for it to happen to players on both side of the table is amazingly rare. So, if we look on the bright side I suppose it is unlikely to happen again. Maybe the Dice Gods do not like Eldar on Eldar match-ups?

All I can say is that game only took around an hour to play as the back and forth was pretty swift as nothing really was going to plan for either of us. I think part of it was definitely the list I took, I rehashed one from a multi-player game and it wasn’t ideal for playing solo. If nothing else though I’ve learned some more about my Dark Eldar and that can never be a bad thing.

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5 thoughts on “Epic Fail – When Good Dice Go Bad”

  1. Many years ago (a good 10-15) I used to religiously buy GW’s White Dwarf because they always had several battle reports that were written like reading a narrative of a real, fantasy (???) battle. Unfortunately White Dwarf went downhill (IMHO) when it started becoming more & more of a monthly catalog and art exhibit (not that I have anything against looking at finely painted models, but I digress) , and eventually you were lucky if an issue had even one, single battle report.

    Would love to see you guys try your hands at fleshing out your own “battle reports” a little more, maybe with some mid-game “action” shots. I know you’re all a dab hand at painting, so I’m sure your tables & scenery are pretty top notch, too.

    That’s about it. New subscriber. Can’t exactly recall how I found your Blog (what search terms I used) but I’m glad I did.

    1. Thanks for the feedback. Funnily enough getting painted terrain is on our list of things to do right now, I own most of the terrain we use and as I am notoriously slow at painting my armies I’m afraid the terrain is in the same barrel of grey plastic as the majority of my Dark Eldar.

      Generally we don’t play to do the Battle Reports and I have a hideous memory too, we may have a look at doing what you suggest though and showing how we throwdown.

  2. Seriously it was not our finest hour that game. I have never seen so much ‘fail’ in a game of 40k. I’m both proud and ashamed to have been part of it.

  3. Generally 6InchMove battles go something like this: vroom vroom, stomp stomp, pew pew, rawwr, nom nom, space marines die, the end!

    I’ll see what I can do!

    1. Made me chuckle šŸ˜‰

      Could be good for you guys, too. What worked? What didn’t work? Why/why not? Luck of the dice? Or wrong tactic for that army vs that opponent?

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