To the casual observer the power armoured brothers of the loyalist and chaos space marines seem similar. But which is superior? 6InchMove takes a definitive look:
Armour: Loyalist 4/10 Chaos 5/10
The power armour is what makes the space marine. Unfortunately the average loyalist is happy to wear whatever he can get at Walmart 40,000. If he’s feeling adventurous he may stick a purity seal to his leg. His chaos brother is meanwhile busy adding fashionable tonnes of dangerous spikes, plates, ridges, skulls and helmets of defeated foes to his armour which wouldn’t look out of place on any catwalk. A definite win for the chaos boys.
Team Names: Loyalist 3/10 Chaos 5/10
With names like ‘World Eaters’ and ‘Thousand Sons’ you know that the chaos boys were built to party. The loyalist chapters have either boring or frankly rude names like ‘Crimson Fists’. ‘Iron Hands’? How do they wipe? Imperial records also show a chapter named ‘Rainbow Warriors’. Enough said, the forces of the dark gods win this one!
Close Combat Ability: Loyalist 4/10 Chaos 7/10
Your average loyalist is happy to thump his opponent repeatedly with his bolt pistol, which works when squishing small things like frogs and newts. The chaos boys are ready for a good punch up at a moments notice, and have been known to take clubs, knives, chainswords and brass knuckles on bouncy castles, the rebellious lot! Yet another triumph for the forces of chaos.
Musical Talent: Loyalist 4/10 Chaos 6/10
Loyalists are happy with chanting and the occasional barbershop quartet number, which frankly is never going to get them anywhere on American Idol. On the other hand, chaos marines are like perpetually power armoured Metallica fans, ready to headbang and form a mosh pit anytime their noise marines wail on their stupendously big guitars. A rocking victory here for the spikey boys!
Vehicles: Loyalist 5/10 Chaos 6/10
The average chaos warrior gets to ride around in the spikiest tanks in the universe, which has got to be cool. They also get help from Defilers, which essentially are demonic kick-ass ants on steroids. Loyalists get to ride in melta magnet Land Raiders and four hundred Rhino variants. Beep beep!
Ability To Know No Fear: Loyalist 10/10 Chaos 0/10
Even faced with certain painful death or being eaten by a carnifex your average loyalist will still be thinking about tax returns, kittens, puppies and onions. Faced with similar peril, a chaos marine will be busy thinking about soiling his power armour, running away and screaming like a little girl. Wussies. A resounding win for the loyalists in this category!
Overall: Loyalist 30 Chaos 29
So if you are a busy Emperor Of Mankind and have an uprising of orks or influx of bugs to squish, then you don’t want to mess about. Our definitive assessment shows that the guys to send are the loyalists. Despite ‘talking the talk’ the chaos boys will not be ‘walking the walk’ in the heat of battle because they will be too busy squealing and running away from everything. Wimps.